Written by Nae mair crap
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Friday, 26 February 2010

It is reported that the coven of the ARRAS sect, meeting in Brooklyn, New York were stunned into silence by the latest demands from their great leader Dr Bobbino de Ponytail.

He is reportedly incensed at the continuing lack of progress against the Red Knickers Association and their leader, the McLuz of McLuz. A reliable source, inside the ARRAS sect, informed us that the leader appeared upset and could not conceal his frustration, throwing his red plastic dummy tit out of his pram.

"I ban them, yet they still attack me" he is quoted as saying " I want that damn Loonie stopped, I have my list and those snivelling cowards who will not support me will be banned, banned, banned."

Get da Loonie, roared the ARRAS sect as they knelt in front of their great leader. He wanted a scapegoat. The great leader ordered that Airehead must fall on her size 12 knitting needles and resign. He proceeded with the ritual shaming of Airehead. As the sect wept in fear, the great leader ripped her red scarf from her neck then removed all her lapel pins with force. Airehead clung on to her mod badge but he tore it from her hands and gave it to William the Dangler.

William the Dangler whimpered and held tightly to his chest his photo album of Susan pics as he realised what would happen next.

The great leader placed his pink iPod in front of Airehead and she, trembling and weeping, put the earphones to her ears. It is reported that the ARRAS sect cried in unison, no no great leader not Adam Lambert and Taylor Swift!

Airehead screamed as the great leader turned the volume to max. Not a pretty sight.

A reliable source said that the great leader went into a tirade, spilling his baby milk formula all over his lederhosen and wetting his nappies.

Happy and Clappy led the shaken Airehead from the meeting and she was cast out into the wilderness.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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