Heavy metal band Gordon Brown and the Forces of Hell are to tour the UK for the first time since he replaced Tony Blair on lead vocals. After a raucous pre tour party in Westminster the band are preparing to hit the road.
Bass player Lord "Vader" Mandelson said "There's nothing like touring. We want to get our message across to the fans. I joined this band because I care so much about the fans". Mandelson is no stranger to controversy having left the band on several occasions because he had overdosed on cash. "Yes, I'm addicted to cash, but I am receiving treatment. I'm sure I will make a full recovery".
The other members of the band are trying to keep a low profile. Keyboardist Alistair Darling is known for his fast fingers and his somewhat random solos. One such solo recently upset Gordon so we can expect quite a muted Darling on this tour. Backing vocalist Harriet Harman will be looking to add her harmonies to Brown's rather monotonous voice in a bid to woo the voters-er fans. "Crazy" John Prescott will be back as drummer, bashing out the primitive beat with a chicken drumstick.
The band hope to hit Number 10 in the charts and want to remain there for as long as they can. Unfortunately the public may have got tired listening to the same old tune.