London - (Carlton Club): Hellfire Club grandees have moved to quash rumors they ordered UK puppet Prime Monster Gorgon Brown to unleash his National Bullying Helpline heavies on Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling.
The shadowy satanic organization is believed to be behind the smear campaign after its equally evil twin sister institution, Opus Dei, demanded Darling's replacement by a Vatican-approved money man.
The miud-slinging spat comes ahead of Papal paranoia that he will be arrested in a spectacular God's Banker miurder hunt
sting when he land in the UK in September.
UK cops have played a blinder in downgrading rumors they have the ID of a massive KGB moneylaundering gang lead by Pope 'Joe the Plumber' Ratzinger who topped fetid bank thief Roberto Calvi.
His June 1982 death - ten days after Pope JP2 Lodge's UK trip - officially still remains unsolved.