Written by Earl Grey
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Monday, 22 February 2010

image for Britain's First Strip Library To Open In Grays, Essex
"Have you got A Tale of Two Tities?"

A strip library is to open in Grays, Essex. The innovation is the brainchild of local businessman and keen reader, Stig O'Treacy. "I wanted somewhere for the discerning gentleman to be able to read and enjoy seeing naked librarians. It just seemed like a natural thing to me. There are fewer libraries around the UK these days, but more strip clubs. Why not combine the two?"

It's still early days for the scheme but the enquiries desk is expected to be very busy. Customers will be able to borrow up to six books, three DVDs and one erotic dancer. If items are returned overdue fines will range from £1.50 per day to being escorted by security to a cash point machine and having the contents of your account removed.

Librarians have reacted with mixed feelings. Some are horrified at the thought of working in the buff. However, Mary Stoat is looking forward to it. "It's certainly going to make trips to the photocopier more exciting."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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