Written by Morse
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Monday, 22 February 2010

image for Brown Denies Bullying, Grabs Reporter by Throat for Suggesting He Did!
Reporter Winds Up in Dust Bin After Dust Up with PM Brown over Bullying!

PM Gordon Brown reacted violently today when questioned by a reporter today on complaints surfacing that he physically threatened and man handled staff in fits of rage.

Buttonholed on the sidewalk as he emerged from his Limo outside #10 by a mild mannered Spoof reporter, Brown grabbed the reporter by the throat, spun him around and deposited him in an already overflowing dust bin.

Luckily, the reporter's sudden landing was cushioned by a ten day collection of newspapers and left over food scraps since the change to dust bin collections mandated by the Minister of Dustbins, and backed by the Dust Bin Union.

Aides immediately rushed to the PM's defense saying that "he occasionally has fits of temper when he feels he is being challenged, or if staff doesn't rise fast enough when he enters a room. But," the aide continued," he rarely uses violence unless his meds haven't kicked in, or if due to his failing eyesight he over reacts to what he sees as an impending attack on his person."

So far the National Heath Organization has only had to treat 7 staffers for minor bruises, one black eye and two cigarette burns, although one former staffer did suffer a stroke and is now confined to a wheel chair in a government care center.

Meanwhile the incident captured on a street cam has made the rounds on the internet, with views now reaching north of 3m. The clip show everyone rushing to the aide of the PM, and ignoring the garbage encrusted reporter who struggled to remove himself from the dust bin covered with arugula, spinach, Tofu and what appears to be the remnants of Spotted Dick gone bad.

The reporter was later detained by police authorities under the guise of contributing to racial unrest and making inflammatory remarks disrespectful to a government official during working hours.

According to Brown's aides the Reporter brought it on himself by asking Mr. Brown if he had stopped beating his aides yet and if he felt he needed anger management in order to get through the upcoming elections.

But, a camera crew with the Reporter signed affidavits that the Reporter had only wished the PM 'Good Morning', and in deference to the PM's short sightedness and stumbling demeanor had offered his arm to help the PM over the curb and up to the door of #10.

The reporter was released after 4 hours of interrogation with only a caution, long enough to insure that his story would not be edited in time to make the evening news.

A story released 36 hours later by The Spoof headlined the incident: "Reporter slips on Banana Peel in front of #10, PM rushes to his aid!"

The Reporter is said to have resigned shortly after due to "editorial and creative differences."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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