Gordon Brown has been accused of trying to buy votes by promising a fun fair if Labour win the next election. Launching his campaign, Brown said "Roll up, roll up! Welcome to the ballot box. Three goes a pound. Step right up, madam, don't be shy. Everyone's a winner at the New Labour Fun Fair."
John Prescott wondered by in a 'Kiss me quick' hat, complaining loudly that there wasn't any candy floss. Lord Mandelson was in charge of the 'Test your strength' stall. "Come and have a go of my hammer!" he called.
David 'Dave' Cameron was furious at the plans. "This is typically underhand tactics from a government that knows it is finished. I promise a bouncy castle in every home, clown shows three times a day and the removal of all Romany types hanging around the fair."
The Liberal Democrats have promised a freak show if they win.