Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Cheryl Cole

Friday, 19 February 2010

image for Cheryl Cole's wedding ring hex
A heart-shaped diamond should always point to your wrist and not away from you

London - (Nuptials): Has wearing her £160,000 heart-shaped diamond wedding band upside down hexed Cheryl's marriage to Ashley?

"Probably not," a leading marriage guidance expert commented today.

"The made-in-heaven love match was always a bit of a PR coup much like Posh and Becks. I give it three weeks."

The midget singer's penchant for flashing the stonking 5 carat heart pointing towards her fingernails has been likened by the jewellery industry to displaying an inverted horseshoe.

"First rule of a heart-shaped diamond ring is always make sure it's the right way up," Bling Heaven Gemstones said today.

"That way it's not just for someone facing you to appreciate.

"A heart-shaped diamond must have its tip pointing towards your wrist to stop it looking like a public display item."

Cole, 26, has fled to Los Angeles for a spot of nip 'n' tuck, lipo, cheek filler and botox after looking haggard in her flaccid Brits Award performance.

'Conflict' or blood diamonds have been blamed for a variety of matrimonial woes.

Cheryl's rock is a putrid yellow color.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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