A leaked memo today revealed plans by Gordon Brown to engineer a second Falklands War between the UK and Argentina, in order to boost his ratings before the up-coming election. It is widely believed Mr Brown will face almost certain defeat unless something spectacular happens to increase his popularity.
The alleged discovery of oil in the South Atlantic islands has infuriated Argentina, who are understandably a bit miffed that they will miss out on the vast amounts of cash that it would have generated for them, if only the Falklands were part of Argentina. It is thought that they may consider invading again, as they have also suffered badly from the global financial crisis and are desperate to find more cash by any means necessary. New Argentinian minister of war, Diego Maradona, has promised he will get hands-on and will even cheat to ensure things go Argentina's way.
The leaked memo says that the "fake oil plan" is proceeding well, and that "hopefully those Argies will take the bait". It ends by saying, "let's hope the one-eyed Jock can do a Thatcher and ride high on the euphoria that only a war victory can bring."