Written by Slapcabbage
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Topics: Jordan, Jay-Z

Thursday, 18 February 2010

Rapper Jay Z was today embroiled in a race row over allegations that during a party of his, bouncers would not allow whites into the VIP area! Guests were horrified that only black people seemed to waltz through whilst white guests had to queue and wait to be allowed in.

Our roving reporter managed to track down Jay Z himself, (no talking to sources - only the main man would do!) and we managed to get his take on what really happened at the party.

Mr Z, looking from behind his shades, despite the fact that it is nearly ten oclock at night, is quite clear on what led to the events of the evening. "I was at the Brits receiving my award, thinking of how I would get to be on the front pages of all of the daily's the next day because of my achievement," he stated. " However as I came off stage I noticed one the the stage hands reading a red top newspaper, which caught my eye immediately. There was one celebrity who dominated the front page, and I realised that I had seen her before! Not just on that newspaper but on all the newspapers I had seen for at least the last year!"

On asking if he would give a clue as to who the mystery celeb was, he replied, "that permatanned blow up Barbie, otherwise known as Jordan!" On mentioning this to Beyonce, his lovely wife, she nodded and told him of the English obsession with everything KP.

"It was then that I hatched a plan! I realised that the only way to steal the front page was to be as controversial as possible. So I came up with the idea of not letting in whites to my after Brits party! I knew that mine was the biggest party and had to ensure that I would make the headlines."

As Mr Z ended the interview he offered no apology for his behaviour, adding, that the irony of the situation was that, had Jordan and Alex turned up to his party that night, they probably would have got in no problem - their love of fake tan meant that they would have easily passed as being dark skinned!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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