Written by Earl Grey

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Topics: Poo, Vladimir Putin

Thursday, 18 February 2010

image for Putin Announces Plan To Transport Frozen Dog Turds To Basildon
"Here's one we laid earlier"

Vladimir Putin has announced a plan to solve Moscow's frozen dog turd problem before the spring thaw sets in. The turds are to be transported to Basildon in Essex where they will be turned into jewelry for the locals.

Putin has also found employment for Moscow's growing number of Babooshkas who have been hanging around at bus stops terrifying foreigners. It will be their job to harvest the frozen turds and bring them to special turd holding camps on the outskirts of the city.

Mayor of London Boris Johnson welcomed the scheme. "I'm all in favour of local employment opportunities and small craftsmanshit.... er ship." It is hoped that the first brown ear rings will appear on Basildon High Street in mid-March. Putin has promised to make all deliveries on time or he will execute some peasants. Basildon has offered to send some peasants over just in case.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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