In a madcap bid to save the planet (and shorten the dole queue) Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has backed an audacious plan to ban all motorised vehicles from UK City Centres.
The plan, developed by the IPCC, is to make use of the thousands of rickshaws which have been made redundant in India and China by the increasing popularity of motor vehicles. A spokesman for Mr Brown confirmed, "We intend to open centres throughout the UK where suitable applicants (the long term unemployed, and alcoholics etc) will be trained as Rickshaw Drivers".
In a short statement the IPCC outlined the need to balance India and China's affluent lifestyle by counteracting their increasing use of fossil fuels.
Taxi drivers will be offered automatic places on the training schemes unless they fail the medical - in which case they will be forced to sell boiled rice by the roadside.
A rickshaw helpline has been set up for anybody who feels they may be affected by this move. Please Call Mr Rick Shaw on 96 0187 8958895 5995 95995