Osama Bin Laden has put his spacious cave up for sale and hopes that its far reaching views halfway up the Hindu Kush will attract willing buyers.
Mr.Bin Laden went onto explain that he believed the Pakistani Northwest Border Country real estate market to have peaked and by selling up now was hoping to call the market and make a handsome profit on his investment.
"I'll miss the old place" moaned the "Tall Man" but it's got very noisy lately what with the Americans & The Insurgents making loads of banging noises.
"I have a global domination plan to implement and I need my eight hours to be creative"!
The bearded leader went on to complain that if he'd wanted to be kept up all night with young men shooting each other he'd of moved to Lewisham or Manchester.
I may retire to one of those gated colonies in Florida where I can enjoy the peace and quiet and get away from all the stress.
I think that it'd be very nice to live comfortably amongst like minded people