The UK government accounting office revealed today that thousands of former Brits were receiving millions of pounds in 'Air Conditioning' Substance allowances under an obscure law sponsored by The Big Labour party as part of the EU fiasco.
Just as recent immigrants are given child support payments to send 'back home' to the children they 'left behind', put up in million dollar flats when the number of 'new' children exceed 'approved' living conditions, money is flowing to Thailand to keep Brits 'Cool' while their former mates are freezing their arses off in the home country and fighting for heating allowances.
Former Brit, itinerant poet, english teacher and pedi cab entrepreneur, Monkey Woods (not his real name) said he couldn't survive without the allowance.
"Listen Mate...it's hard getting acclimated to the heat over here, even the fooking rain is hot enough to boil an egg. That 300 pounds a month comes in handy, even though beer is cheap, it's not easy staying cool on the tax free income I earn over here, and internet doesn't come cheap either!"
Thailand officials claim they are processing thousands of new visas a week from Brits tired of the cold, falling on their arse in the snow, and the lack of postal and bin collection due to inclement weather. They also announce a visa request from a man in South Carolina which recently suffered it's worse snow fall in a century.
A Thai Tourism official crowed that he expected his country would soon be the Spoof Capital of the world, with related income soon to eclipse their vaunted sex industry.