Dr Who is set to be the new leader of the Labour Party. Gordon Brown's failure to tackle the recession and the rise of David 'Dave' Cameron has led to an inter-galactic search for a new leader. Alistair Darling was ruled out because he looks to much like an alien, whilst Margaret Beckett is really from the planet Zanusi.
During the Neil Kinnock years Dr Who was a much more effective opponent of Margaret Thatcher. On more than one occasion a carefully placed sonic screwdriver prevented the destruction of the UK. There were calls for Dr Who to join the shadow cabinet, but these were resisted.
If Dr Who does take over expect the cabinet to look much smaller on the outside. Also expect the new leader to reverse the polarity on John Prescott's trousers in a bid to avert certain disaster.
'Dave' Cameron is concerned at the change and has summoned the Master (or is it Mistress) from her retirement. Also lining up is Sontaron warrior William Hague, Davros Tebbit and John Redwood, who used to be in Star Trek.