Written by Nick Hobbs
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Friday, 12 February 2010

image for Alistair Darling Is Multicoloured Freak Shock!
'Darling, I'm freee...'

Shock photographs have emerged of MP Alistair Darling relaxing at home.

The photo's, leaked to us by Bert Tweedle, one of Darling's aides, or 'Darling's darling's' as they have become known, appear to show Darling lounging on a sofa, whilst drinking tea.

While this in itself is not an unusual or newsworthy story, what is interesting is the facial growth on the chancellor's chin.

Darling is reknowned worldwide for his distinctive 'badger' look, with the ghost white hair and death black eyebrows. The new photographs, however, reveal a new piece to the puzzle. Darling's beard is ginger!

Biologists and medical experts are expected to call a summit in the near future, to try and work out what twist of nature occurred to cause the walking abhorrence that is Alistair Darling.

Early reports that Darling has auburn chest hair and blonde pubes have yet to be confirmed.

More as we eat it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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