Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

image for Toni Terry's shockhorror at anagram ouija board's "Venereal sons crap" and "Col. Lechery"
Vanessa Perroncel and Cheryl Cole holidayed together last summer

Dubai - (Portents): An unexpected twist on the 'Mirror, Mirror, off-the-wall' soothsaying charm has seen John Terry's wife Toni gobsmacked yet again.

The Chelsea captain's wife has been consulting psychics ahead of a possible Valentines Day reunion with her errant husband.

As reported by The Spoof's queen mudder static in the ether was blamed earlier for a garbled ouija board message that spelled 'Porn Ass Relevance' as the source of Mrs T's matrimonial woes.

Frantic rearrangement of the letters soon gave way to - yes, you have guessed it! - Vanessa Perroncel.

Yesterday as atmospheric conditions appeared somewhat improved in the cosmos yet more cryptic answers emerged.

Asked by Toni to give a definitive Yes or No answer about her former best friend Vanessa's innocence or guilt in the alleged affair the ouija board merely spelled out "Veneral Sons Crap" - just another rearrangement of Ms P's name.

And then a real shocker as the planchette defined the identity of the premiership's biggest fibbing two-faced WAG as one "Col. Lechery".

"Of course that's her married name!" Dubai Beach soothsayer Gypsy Rose Lee-Ahmadinejad said today.

"Cheryl no longer uses her maiden name 'Tweedy', she uses Cole."

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 3?

3 15 12 25
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top