Written by LisaPisa
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Sunday, 14 February 2010

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Local Dolly Parton Fan

Local man Kevin King, 28, has become something of a local celebrity after he appeared at the local Dolly Parton festival in Mrs. Bridges garden last week topless.

You see Kevin had just recently undergone breast augmentation surgery - just like his pneumatic idol.

"I've always loved Dolly's look so much", he said, "how better to celebrate her beauty than by having my chest done like hers"

We asked him how Dolly reacted when he showed off his impressive cleavage at the recent event by stripping off his top and wiggling wildly.

"Oh, she was certainly surprised, I think. I do believe she said something like 'Dear, sweet, Jesus!'", he smiled, "I certainly gave her an eyeful"

Kevin says he intends to shave the words 'Dolly Forever' into his chest hair as a further token of his devotion to the American country star.

The Sun has offered him 20p to appear next week as their first ever genuine male Page 3 model (despite serious questions over the gender of 'Jordan' aka Katie Price, it has yet to be proven that she is actually former Eastender's star Dean Gaffney in drag).

Kevin has refused to do it, saying that it would be 'tacky' and 'cheap' and 'shite'.

"As a true Dolly fan, I couldn't wake up and look at myself honestly in the mirror if I did such a thing. It would go entirely against Dolly's ethos of class and style and grace", he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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