Written by Lightning Conductor
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Wednesday, 3 February 2010

image for Terry inspired by Tiger Woods. He's...Grrrrrrreat!
John Terry displaying his enormous intellect!

John Terry has admitted that Tiger Woods was the inspiration behind his recent infidelity.

"I really love Golf but Tiger I love with all my heart", gushed the England Captain praising his hero to our reporter who'd managed to gain a rare interview.

"I think it's the manly way he grips his club with both hands that got me into it", grinned the Cockney Hero.

Terry explained that he was introduced to the stripey swinger on a footballer's wife swapping weekend.

My life changed after Tiger drunkenly explained the golf tee to me. What an amazing thing those Tees are?

Did you know that you can rest your balls in them when driving? I bet even Roman Abramovich hasn't got anything like that in his motor?, Pondered the philosophical ball basher.

Come on mate, winked Terry, nudging our reporter in the ribs,You've got to agree that Tiger really is the King of the Swingers eh?

Terry went on to explain his love of Golf but seemed to almost orgasm at the slightest mention of BALLS,HOLES,SWINGING,BIRDIES,GAPING HOLES & SINKING A PUTT IN OFF THE RIM, Cor...Luvverly, mused the Chelsea stud.

Terry left shortly after nipping into the corner shop to buy some condoms as he'd tied Cheryl Cole to his bed, unfortunately they'd run out & suggested he try Boots?

Terry went on to explain that Boots were out of the question as he'd wanted to shag Cheryl not kick her to death!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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