The Isle of Man - that once popular sea-side holiday destination for Liverpudlian alcoholics - has refuted claims about it's sordid Fascist past.
The local inhabitants pride themselves on their tail-less cats, love of corporal punishment and badly-tattooed half-Irish waitresses, but it is a much darker history that plagues the shite island.
Nazi's once roamed this land.
Evil Nazi's. Nazi's with mean scowling faces, leather whips and a queer love for queer love.
Hitler once wrote a poem about the Isle of Man to his lover Eva Braun in the eternally romantic language of German.
Indeed, the cack-haired monster wanted to live out his Aryan vision in Douglas, the island's shit-stained, one-street capital.
Locals have said that these are all lies, damned lies.
They say that their flag looks nothing like the swastika.
They say that the island's legendary TT motorcycle race has nothing to do with nasty German bastards. It should be pointed out that the race used to be called the 'SS', but was suddenly renamed 'TT' at the end of the war.
The owner of the local bayonet shop, Fritz VonWanker, said the rumour was ridiculous.
"Ich bien ein Isle of Man-er", he claimed.