Written by Clifford Rutley
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Friday, 29 January 2010

image for Tony BLEEARK Causes Mass Throwing Up At Iraq Inquiry
Want to throw up yet?

Tony BLEEARK has told an inquiry he does not regret the war in Iraq as the world is a safer place without Saddam Hussein.

The former Prime Chunk Throwing Cause said it had been a "huge responsibility" deciding to invade the country in 2003.

"There's not a single day that goes by when I don't think and reflect about that responsibility," he told Sir John Chilcot's panel, who then proceeded to empty the contents of their stomachs out all over their desks.

"It was divisive and I'm sorry about that."

Members of the public began to profusely throw up when Mr BLEEARK said he had no regrets but were asked to be quiet by the chairman, who then tried so hard not to throw up himself he ended up pooing his pants instead.

One member of the audience shouted out: "What, no regrets? Come on," he then began a long continuous stream of belching up nothing but pure air and bad breath.

Then, as he left, another person heckled: "You are a liar," while another added, "And a murderer". All three ended up clearing their own sick up off the floor.

Mr BLEEARK gave evidence to the official inquiry for six hours., while anti-war protesters gathered outside and began emptying their stomachs out through their mouths and all over the pavement.

BLEEARK then denied claims he starved the armed forces of cash during the war:

"I don't think I refused a request for money or for equipment at any point in the time that I was Prime Chunk Thrower," he said, almost being sick a little in the back of his own mouth at his own cheesy spin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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