An outbreak of the killer Boyle Virus, also known as the Suboylo Virus, has swept the world and left millions feeling dead bored and listless.
The virus was first created in a special laboratory by the evil Dr Cowell, who then released it into the world. The victims never stood a chance.
The virus first begins with a series of annoying noises. This is followed by hallucinating that a chimpanze is singing cover versions of Elaine Page songs. Next the toxic liquid contained in You Tube is then released. Boredom follows almost immediately.
It is thought that millions have been left disinterested by the sickening spread of this virus. The World Health Organisation has already declared Britain's Got Talent a disaster area and people have been urged to keep away.
It is hoped that dwindling record sales may contain the virus.