Tesco, Britains largest supermarket, has had the cheek to ban all barefooted people wearing pyjamas, nightgowns, only their undies and sometimes, nothing.
A spokesman, Dame Mary Whitehouse Jnr. said:
"It is embarrassing for other customers when people turn up to shop in their 'Jammies', no bras or knickers, everything hanging, unshaven men in their dressing gowns only, skimpy nighties (and that's only the men), tea stained vests and to cap it all, barefoot, it's outrageous!"
Outside a Tescos in Darlington a barefooted punter in her pyjamas gave the following statement whilst freezing her butt off: "What the f**k is the world coming too, call this freedom, it's like living in the GDR, we can't even wear (or not wear) what we want too, stuff 'em, I'm barefooting it off to Sainsbury's!"
Dame Mary Whitehouse Jnr countered: "I am not a snob but there are limits, just imagine if one of these lazy slobs had athletes foot or sex the night before and didn't wash themselves, Spunky, AAAAGH!"