Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 23 January 2010

image for UK Terror Threat Level Raised To 'Severe'
Southampton - Deserted.

We decided that, as we had nothing better to do on a slow Saturday afternoon, we would investigate exactly what an elevated terror threat level meant to the man on the street.

Or woman on the street.

As our reporters hit the streets, general feedback appeared to suggest that little, if anything has actually changed.

In Central London people were reported to be conducting business as usual, shopping, generally wandering about, and tourists clogging up the pavements as they studied maps.

In East London Pie And Mash shops reported no drop in sales levels.

In Manchester football fans were seen streaming towards Old Trafford for the upcoming football fixture between United and Hull City, and pubs were reporting brisk trading.

In Birmingham the city's plethora of Balti houses were gearing up for a brisk evening's business.

In Newcastle young women were frantically ironing mini skirts and topping up on vodka in preparation for a night on the toon. Down the Bigg Market.

In Southampton the picture was strangely different. Our reporter reported that the city centre was virtually deserted, apart from a smattering of strange individuals who appeared to be taking cover beside parked cars, or under the tables in fast food outlets. One man had scaled a lamp post and was hanging on for dear life.

A baby's cries pierced the eerie silence.

A nun could be seen clutching a rosary and mouthing silent prayers.

It would appear that the natives of Southampton know something that the rest of us don't.

Our investigation continues.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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