Written by queen mudder
Print this
Topics: Terrorism, Yemen

Thursday, 21 January 2010

image for London-bound Yemenis to be given parachute & GPS bracelet
Deep sea trawler fishing nets would deal with any stragglers failing to reach official rendezvous places

London - (Drowning Street): A new security crackdown will see all Yemeni visitors flying to the United Kingdom airdropped over the Channel on the last leg of their plane journeys.

Special parachute suits will be issued including GPS-tracked ankle bracelets that act as beacons for the 'welcoming parties' of UK Border Agency officials.

Lifeboats would then be responsible for the pick-up with specially equipped trawler fishing providing backup to deal with any stragglers.

Passengers' luggage will be airdropped separately to coastal collection points where they will be held prior to release on payment of fifty pounds per kilo.

Making the announcement UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown said it was about time someone raised the bar in counter-terror initiatives and gave these 'foreign johnnies' a damned good soaking.

A YouTosserGov poll issued today said the measure would be popular with all sectors of society and would send a strong message to non-indigenous terrorists from hot, sweaty cesspit dictatorships such as the People's Democratic Republic of Yemen.

The measure, if successful, could be extended to other countries. Like France. Or Iceland. Or Lithuania.

More as we get it.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 3?

4 6 24 15
27 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more