Banking Giant Goldman Sachs today announced bumper profits of £8billion. While the rest of the country struggles through the snow and with only snow to eat the bankers at the firms City headquarters were eating swan and basking in winter sunshine.
The company makes its money by employing small children to steal your money while you are sleeping. A spokesman for the company denied everything.
As angry crowds gathered at the firms gold plated HQ a drunken banker snorted from the penthouse window "Fuck off you poor bastards or I will have you shot"
A spokesman for the baying mob said "This level of arrogance is typical of someone who has no regard for the rule of law and no understanding of how people are feeling during these uncertain times. They really are a bunch of wankers".
The government reacted angrily "Grrrrrrrr" said someone close to the Prime Minister.