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Wednesday, 20 January 2010

image for TV Chef To Cook For Terrorist Ringleader
Osama Bin Laden: tired of mountain goat cuisine

Manchester, England. Whilst on a speaking tour of the midlands, pukka celebrity chef Oliver James suddenly announced to the audience that he knows where sought after terrorist mastermind Osama Bin laden is hiding.

He would not elaborate on the details concerning the whereabouts of the evil creator of the September 11 terrorist attacks but maintained he had very credible information that could lead to Bin Laden's capture.

Oliver explained how he came into this exclusive knowledge by saying that he was at home one day cooking his favourite creme-de-menthol with a white wine sauce when he heard a knock at the front door of his Sussex mansion. When he answered there was nobody in sight, however, a envelope was left lying on the welcome mat and inside this was a letter that explained where the elusive terrorist could be located.

Oliver was not prepared to answer any questions about the letter he received except to say that it also involved a invitation to come and prepare sumptous meals for Bin Laden. What sort of meal will he cook for the Al Queda maestro? "Maybe a beef stroganoff or English shepherd's pie" replied Oliver. "He gets tired of killing and roasting mountain goats, he longs for some European cuisine like the food he ate when he was a student in the UK" added the well known chef.

Immediately at the end of this presentation, Oliver was confronted by two mysterious looking individuals dressed in dark clothing, who then apprehended him and dragged Oliver off to a waiting van. The TV chef was then forcibly thrown in the back of the Hyundai vehicle, which was missing licence plates, and driven at speed from the venue.

The events of today are remarkable in that we have witnessed an unusual mixture of espionage and international cuisine.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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