Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 17 January 2010

image for 'UK Should Be Prepared To Go To War Over Proposed Cadbury Sale.'
Sights Like This May Become A Thing Of The Past

So says Glenys Greenhorn of Midlands 'Action For Chocolate' group as Cadbury's faces a hostile takeover bid by US chocolate giants Hershey.

Cadbury's is a British institution, founded by the Cadbury family in the 19th century in purpose built worker's paradise, Bourneville. After which they named their most excellent dark chocolate.

Cadbury's also gave us Dairy Milk, Fruit and Nut, Whole Nut, Creme Eggs, Drinking Chocolate, Chocolate Fingers and Milk Tray.

Whereas Hershey's principal contribution to modern culture is the term "Up the Hershey highway," which doesn't even have anything to do with chocolate. Or so we have been told by a man who knows all about such things.

"It makes yer bloody sick," Glenys Greenhorn told us. "We're on the brink of losing a great British tradition, one which our grandparents and their grandparents before them took great pleasure in - and nobody seems to give a shit! Unbelievable!"

Alf Alpha of Solihull British Legion told us:

"Our brave lads fought in wars so that we could enjoy freedom and liberty, and partake of all things British, including full English breakfasts, mid morning tea with Cadbury's bourbon biscuits, and of course Cadbury's chocolate. And now the Yanks want to take away our Dairy Milk, and our Creme Eggs, and people just don't seem bothered by it. It's an outrage!"

The Lord Mayor of Bourneville joined in the Chorus of disapproval, saying:

"It won't be the same if they make it abroad. Never has so much been owed by so many to so few chocolateers. Register on our website now to add your voice of protest. It's:www.handsoffourchocolateyabastards.org"

More as we get it.

(News that is, not chocolate.)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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