Panic ensued in the car park of a local pub tonight here in the heart of suburban Surrey as a Miss Wet Tee Shirt contest went tragically wrong - or, to use the local vernacular 'tits up.'
A bevy of local beauties - English Roses one and all - lined up in the car park wearing tee-shirts, bikini bottoms, stiletto heels and little, if anything else and waited for the buckets of water to hit the target.
As the water was thrown from several buckets by enthusiastic volunteers, disaster struck. The water froze instantaneously on contact in the freezing conditions leaving the ladies frozen solid and unable to move.
One pub patron offered to free the girls by using a hammer and chisel but was given short shrift by concerned boyfriends.
Eventually the girls were carried into the snug bar and left to thaw out in front of a blazing log fire. One contestant told us:
"Me nipples have never bin that hard before. I thought they wuz gonna burst!"
Pub landlord, Mad Albert, told us:
"There must be something in the air tonight. All me male customers ave developed pronounced limps all of a sudden."
More breast related buffoonery as we get it.