Written by Nick Hobbs
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Friday, 15 January 2010

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Moko, bit of a git really!

The world's first mammalian ASBO has been served on a New Zealand dolphin.

Moko, a thirteen year old boisterous bottle-nose has been stealing surf boards, stranding body boarders and generally annoying anyone who ventures into his 'manor'.

Detective Jerry Lee Presley, 42, told us "the little urchin has been a right pain in the arse. Anti-social behaviour will not be tolerated at any time around here, not even by a dolphin!"

Lindsey Whacher, 32, was one of Moko's victims. "I was out body boarding in the bay last thursday, when I saw Moko heading towards me. He circled round and then started pushing me out to sea, 15 miles he went, then turned around and swam off. I was stranded. I was finally rescued by a Japanese freighter."

The ASBO prevents Moko from entering into a 5 mile cordon around the bay, and any other report of disturbance from the young mammal will result in his immediate arrest and incarceration in 'Lenny's Eaterie, home of the world's largest fish tank'.

That'll screw him.

More as we do.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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