Written by queen mudder
Print this

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

image for Queen tickled by Illuminati prediction that Friday's eclipse 'is terminal'
"Eclipse? Hahahaha. You must be joking."

Sandringham House - (Rioters): "Hahaha, bet you fifty squid I'll live to 100!"

But Old Fatty Mountbatten's confident riposte today has seen Hellfire Club astrologers rush to their online Ephemeris tables to check for the Doomsday Alignment in HM's Last House of Death and Damnation.

The root of the dilemma is Friday's five planet pile-up in the sign of Capricorn.

The solar eclipse sits squarely on the trainwreck of the Queen's nativity in a Port-Au-Prince, Haiti brothel in 1930.

The natal site was razed to the ground by a 7.2 Richter Scale tremor this Tuesday just ahead of Saturn's assumption of a retrograde spin.

Barricaded in a tin foil-lined Sandringham House panic room HM the Puppet Monarch is oozing confidence.

But the New Year's Eve undertakers convoy is still parked outside, jamming the Norfolk roads in a one mile radius.

Charles and Camilla divorced in secret last August.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 1?

4 20 3 13
59 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more