Written by Steddyeddy
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Sunday, 10 January 2010

image for New Retail Season launched
The special edition Humpty Dumpty creme egg.

With only a month to go, many retailers have been caught on the hop by the recent icy weather. Valentine's cards, usually in the shops by late November, are only now starting to appear.

Just before Easter eggs. And the 2010 Christmas hamper catalogues.

However, those nice people at the company trying to stave off ownership by an American spread and biscuit manufacturer, have decided in their wisdom to create a new season - "The Creme Egg Season" or to give it the official medical title "Stuffiface gettus diabetus maximus owerweighticus teethroticus", which 'officially' runs from 1st January to 4th April this year.

Card manufacturers have said to look out for the new range of crass musical cards with twee verses, playing the theme tune from WeightWatchers when opened, extolling the virtues of purchasing one of these sweet, sickly objects for a loved one.

And the new Interflowers "Creme Egg Bouquet" is now available.

Users of both on and off-line diaries are being encouraged to get their keyboards and red pens out (or if a Daily Star reader, their red crayons - they're the ones that look similar in colour to the top traffic light) and mark off the 1st January to the 4th April as "The Creme Egg Season".

You know it makes calories.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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