Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Sunday, 10 January 2010

image for Myleene Klass's Intruder complains about treatment
A sinister hooded intruder

The Hoodie Boy who tresspassed on Myleene Klass's property this week has complained about his treatment to a local Newspaper. He is said to be horrified by his treatment at the hands of the pretty television presenter, after she shouted at him through her kitchen window and waved a knife at him.

Friends have said he's calling it his "knife hell" and they think he'll be scarred for life. His friends have also said he's anxious to sell his tragic story to "Hiya" Magazine.

Hiya Magazine have told him that if he wants to talk about his crack cocaine hell too, they'll give him an extra 50 quid. Obviously, they can't pay him as much as they paid the lovely girl who played the harp for Prince Charles, but they said they would be willing to send him on holiday to Jamaica... providing he demonstrated how easy it is to smuggle cocaine on a plane for them, on the way back.

The Hoodie boy accepted their generous offer, even though he was previously of good character and didn't have any criminal convictions at all. He said "I'm more than happy to turn to crime if Hiya magazine will pay me for it."

Hiya understands that this is a risky business and could result in the youngster going to prison for a long time. But Hiya magazine have also said they would like to follow him to prison by doing a nice lifestyle piece. They say they're behind him the whole way on this one. He's not just an ordinary intruder, anymore. No, he's a celebrity burglar, just like Pete the poet. The glossy magazine have also said they would like exclusive rights to his funeral if he picks up a heroin habit in prison and dies.

The Hoodie boy's Estate Agent parents say he is still a good boy, and they're going to try very hard not to let his new found fame go to his head.

By Katarina Frogpond

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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