Written by IN SEINE
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Topics: Penis

Thursday, 7 January 2010

image for 'Free Willy' on ice!
A fireman experiments on someone else's rod

This has got to be one of the most intrepid rescue operations ever attempted in this country and is also based on a true story as reported in the Daily Telegraph online Free Willy

In sub-zero conditions, firefighters were called to an incident and Southampton General Hospital to carry out a very 'delicate' operation. A & E medicks were trying to extract a man's penis from a stainless steel pipe, and after 30 minutes of trying, they called on the Fire Brigade for help.

In Seine News takes up the story:

The man, aged 40, who did not want to be named for obvious reasons (but we'll call him Willie anyway!) was abducted by a gang of aliens who transported him to their spaceship where they carried out some 'experiments' of a sexual nature using some kind of a vacuum cleaner.

Willie told us; "I was so frightened and thought they were going to sever my penis, but instead they just extracted some seminal fluids. These aliens weren't that bad you know? The experience was quite erotic and pleasurable - to start with anyway!"

"One of them, the one with the three heads, must have tripped and turned the suction to maximum and that's when my tool became wedged in the pipe - the pain became excruciating and I thought that I was going to pass out so I screamed! This must have frightened the aliens because they ejaculated me from their spaceship and I found myself at the hospital."

"It was very embarrassing trying to explain my predickament to the nurses who could not stop laughing. Try as they might, they could not remove the chrome container, they tried a knob of butter, Vaseline, a bag of frozen peas, and a tin of WD-40, but nothing would budge it. Then one of the nurses suggested, much to my horror, that my last chance would have to be the Fire Brigade, otherwise they would be left with no choice but to AMPUTATE!"

The firemen managed to remove the pipe in 30 minutes using a 4 and 1/2 inch angle grinder and at least the man's bruised and battered member is free once again! It is wrapped in ice, until the swelling goes down!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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