The UK and Europe has been crippled by a peculiar form of "Global Warming" called "snow blizzards and Artic temperatures!"
Since the middle of December 2009 half of the world has been coated by a layer of ice and snow even reaching Spain, Italy,the Coté d Azur and in the mediterranean icebergs have been sighted.
Thermal scientist, Hilary Greenhouse-Sunstroke, dressed in his thermal woolie undies explained to puzzled listeners stuck in snow blizzards and icebergs at a motorway cafe North of Penzance, Cornwall, about the effects of this latest wave of "Global warming" to hit the UK and the world:
"The world is certainly warming up there is no doubt, if you look around you can see proof of it, Pinguins freezing their nuts off, Polar Bears emigrating to Mallorca for a bit of warmth and eskimos installing central - heating in their igloos to keep them warm?"
One clever listener asked Hilary, "Sir, please explain all of this chaos caused by so-called Global Warming?"
"No problem," Hilary replied, "scientists have proof that in the year 6010 AD the planet will be a desert but not quite yet and until then, we will just have to freeze our bollocks off!"