Written by Earl Grey
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Tuesday, 5 January 2010

image for Perverts Slam New Anti Terrorist Measures
"No, I won't fly! They have got those bloody scanners. Sick bastards!"

The introduction of new body scanners at airports has been condemned by a group representing perverts. The Association Representing Smutty Entertainment (A.R.S.E) is concerned that members working in airport security may have to concentrate on looking for bombs.

Geoffrey Kiddyfiddler said "If this plan goes ahead then we will be far too busy working to have any fun. The old system where we got to pat people down was so much better."

The Government has been criticised in the House of Commons. Several backbenchers on both sides of the House are thought to have been following A.R.S.E. for some time, and there is growing concern that Gordon Brown could lose his seat due to such a rebellion.

Terrorists are also concerned that the contents of their underpants will now be on public display. Yousuma Been Lyin of the Palestinian People's Popular Liberation Army Front Group said "Allah would be greatly offended if the infidels see our knobs. This is so insulting."

Gordon Brown has said that in the interests of national security he will stop at nothing. People all over Britain are longing for him to reach nothing soon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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