Written by kinny
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: London, England

Thursday, 16 September 2004

image for Violence Flares as Witch Hunting is Banned
Wehey ged in there son! sorry I mean 'Sorry state of Democracy'

There were angry violent scenes today when witch burners from all over the country descended on London to protest against parliaments unanimous vote to abolish witch burning in England and Wales.

Kevin Horseshoe is a Witch Burner from Derbyshire who could seek out and burn witches almost before he could walk. At the age of seven, he joined the local Witch-hunt to begin to learn how to follow in his father's footsteps.
He said, "If Witch Burning is banned, I will lose my job and my home, for this house comes with the post. And if that happens, I'll be knocking at the door of 10 Downing St demanding my wages every Friday. "
He went on to say " for generations we have been burning witches and see this ban as a personal attack on our livelihoods from them no-it-all city folk. even though daddy bought this manner two years ago as a second home from the city "

"Who will now protect our harvests from spells being cast on our crops? Many people will loose their jobs because of this ban, like the confession extractors, the men who carry out the ducking, the priest, the horsemen used to track down the witches, the woodsmen who cut the kindling for the fire, the man who lights the flame and the gossipers and whisperers who bring the witch to our attention."

"On top of all this we have only been given around 8 years to prepare for this and now we have this verdict it is to sudden, the horses will have to go straight to the glue factory for a start, we have had an offer for them from a retired horse charity to look after them, but that would be less controversial and we can not use the horses welfare as an argument then."

"If democracy is when a decision is made from a majority vote then I don't want to know."

In further developments a wax jacketed donning terrorist managed to elude security at the houses of parliament and get to the main chamber.
An MP commented " this is outrageous, it was enough that we had just had the chambers carpet cleaned of a purple substance with out having it re-cleaned because of them bumpkins traipsin mud up and down it in their dirty muddy wellies, this will cost the tax-payer dearly.

Make kinny's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 1?

6 2 17 24

Go to top