Following the shameful behaviour of world leaders at Copenhagen a few weeks ago, and the rising evidence that anthropogenic global warming is a pile of wank, would leaders have today apologised and promised to lower fuel retail prices but reducing duty.
Copenhagen was hoped to create unity and ideas, but ended up no more than a drug fuelled orgy, with allegations of unprotected sex, public nudity and violent sexual behaviour aimed at farmyard animals.
Gordon Brown expanded on what was to be done and why, in a Downing Street garden press conference this morning;
"With new evidence of AGW being a pile of wank, cheesy wank to be specific, I have no choice by to reduce the cost of petrol by a penny until next summer, followed by another drop five years from now."
Then he went on about the 'inappropriate behaviour' allegations;
"Let me say this once, and only once. I did not have sexual relations with a sheep, nor did I pull down my underpants and shake my tackle in the face of the accuser. It was simply a misunderstanding"