When local pensioner Mollie McGarriggle realised she'd forgotten her bus pass as she embarked on a shopping trip to buy food for her 327 cats, toting her 'bag for life' to carry the cat food back in, so as not to upset the environment, she didn't think it would be a problem.
She was wrong.
Most drivers would have accepted that she was a pensioner, and allowed her to board the bus, but not the driver of this Number 47, Willie Fuckham, of Barnowl Road in Heavington.
When Mrs McGarrigle attempted to board the bus, explaining that she'd inadvertently left her bus pass on the sideboard, Fuckham told her that she couldn't travel without the document, and that she'd have to go home for it and catch a later bus.
Mrs McGarrigle flatly refused, and allegedly told Fuckham to go and fuck himself, adding that he was a complete and utter wanker who had probably never even kissed, much less fucked a girl in his life, and that he had a big beetroot nose to boot.
Fuckham then ordered Mrs McGarrigle off his bus and she told him to "Get fucked."
A tense standoff ensued.
Fuckham refused to drive the bus a single inch further until Mrs McGarrigle got off.
Mrs McGarrigle countered that it's been so long since she "got off" that she'd forgotten what it was like, and she no intention of getting off. Like Rosa Parks, she refused to budge.
Fuckham then threatened to kick Mrs McGarrigle off the bus, and showed her his Timberland boots in order to emphasise his point.
Mrs McGarrigle told him to come and have a go if he thinks he's hard enough. Fuckham demurred. At which point Mrs McGarrigle called Fuckham "pencil dick" and took a seat with her bag for life.
Refusing to budge.
Fuckham called the police, who despatched a SWAT team to the incident. At this point, the bus still hasn't moved.
Negotiations are ongoing.
Bus passenger, Elsie Earnshaw, detained by the row, indicated to us through the window that she was bursting for a piss.
More as we get it.