Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Skoob1999, Local, Ice

Monday, 21 December 2009

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Shuttlecock Did Not Lose A Leg In His Ice Related Escapade

It was supposed to be happy day for local man, Martin Shuttlecock, as he started his well earned Christmas holiday break, only for disaster to strike.

As Shuttlecock walked across the forecourt outside his home to get to the family car disaster struck. Shuttlecock slipped on ice and lost his footing. He takes up the story:

"I didn't see the ice, and before I knew it, my feet were right out from under me. I managed to gain some control and cushioned the fall with one knee and my right hand. I used to play a lot of football as a youngster, so I suppose that helped with the balance thing. No real harm done."

But further investigations revealed that this wasn't the first time Shuttlecock had slipped on ice.

Two years ago, on his way home from the pub to where he was staying in Erith, Kent, he slipped on ice on Morrison's car park and cut the back of his head.

On another occasion, whilst alighting from a train at Hamble in Hampshire, he slipped on ice and narrowly avoided sliding into the gap between the train and the platform.

"I don't like ice," Shuttlecock told us. "Ice and me aren't a good combination."

Update: As we interviewed a shaken Martin Shuttlecock we saw a young fellow carrying two bags fall flat on his arse on the forecourt outside. At almost the exact spot that Shuttlecock himself almost came to grief.

Something very "X-Files" about that.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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