Written by IN SEINE
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Topics: Religion, School

Sunday, 20 December 2009

image for Little girl prays for teacher and is suspended!
MISS CALCULUS: "in this case, 2+2 does not equal 4!"

A pupil from a school in Britain's notorious Bible Belt - Weston-super-Mare was suspended today for bullying her teacher by offering to pray for her. The little girl, aged 9, had heard that her 57-year-old Maths teacher, Miss Calculus, was ill and would be away from school for up to eight weeks.

Miss Calculus told In Seine News; "I had an accident while ice skating the other night and I broke one of my legs which was put in plaster. There I was sitting in my living room eating a take-away, watching Countdown and brushing up on my Maths when there came a knock at the door. It doesn't add up I thought; people normally ring the bell and once I answered it, I realised that it was a small girl who could not reach the door bell. I recognized her as one of my pupils and she sheepishly came into my lounge and offered to pray for me. I told her that I was not a believer, but she insisted that whether I believe or not, Jesus could make me better."

"I thought "what the heck!" I would do anything to get her off my back and so I suggested that it would be worth a try. I very much doubt it that anything would happen."

"The girl placed her hands on my injured leg and said a prayer which went something like this; "Dear Lord Jesus please make Miss Calculus' broken leg better so that she can come back to school and help us with our lessons. Amen". To my surprise, I felt the plaster cast fall off immediately, which meant I would have to go back to school and I will no longer be able to watch Countdown in the afternoons. Worse still, my problems multiplied; I would have no choice but to go to church from now on, otherwise people would be pointing the finger and calling me a hypocrite!"

"Then I became divided on whether to get the little brat suspended for 'bullying me'. Did I ask for this girl to meddle in my life? Did I want my leg to be fixed? No!or was I flying off at a tangent?"

"Mind you it has got me wondering, if Jesus could do a miracle on my leg that quickly, then I wonder if he could sort OFSTED out???!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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