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Sunday, 20 December 2009

image for Soccer Announcer Skoob Interiews Bill Parcells over Rumour "Big Tuna" Set to Help Bail Out Man U!
Not Exactly 'The Big Tuna", But Close Enough for the Brits!

Hot Soccer announcer Skoob1999, appearing without co-host Erin Andrews who was reportedly out with a bad case of goose bumps due to an extended case of recorded nakedness, landed "a big one" in the aftermath of bloodletting at the management level of his beloved Man U team.

Manager Mike Hughes, winner of 1 out of 10 in League matches was let go after 1 1/2 years by team owners who felt the team wasn't producing and running around the pitch 'like a bunch of ponces' according to an inside source.

Initial reports indicate that Italian Soccer Guru Roberto Mancini was to be brought in to turn things right at the Big Red, but things appear muddy at the moment after Colony Football Super Coach Bill Parcells was seen lugging his bags through Heathrow Airport during the recent snow event wearing a Red Jersey, knickers, and knee socks.

The irreverent Parcells, known for his no nonsense style of coaching, managing and organizing, he once coached basketball under the human volcano, Bob Knight, graciously agreed to an interview with the tearful Skoob.

The interview was conducted at a local pub over lunch and beverages while security kept the intrigued throng at bay.

S:Bill, can you comment on the current condition of the team I love with all my heart?

BP: "There's winning....and there's Misery!"

S: Quite well put, Bill. What's your take on Hughes being sacked"

BP: "Success is never final....but failure can be."

S. Well, Bill, when put like that I tend to agree. Do you think you have to be smart to coach a football team in the UK?

BP: "Here's the thing, Skoob, when you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different then when you do know that you don't know!"

S:Profound Bill...I never looked at it like that. Do you think coming from American football you have anything to offer UK football?

BP: "Don't worry about it. It's just a bunch of guys with an odd shaped ball."


The rest of the conversation was privileged and involved 'guy talk' mostly involving the attributes of the fetchingly cunning Erin Andrews who along with Skoob elevated Soccer Ratings on the US Soccer channel to heights never before achieved, although they did dip significantly in Ireland due to several one star postings from a disgruntled fan of the Irish National Team recently screwed out of a 'win' by a handy French Team Member who raised his arm in surrender only to inadvertently wind up scoring the winning goal.

* Editor's Note: Quotes from the Tuna compiled from previous interviews.

Fergus:Contrary to conflicting reports, Skoob Really Did Get It All. There won't be any 'more.'

But yes, there is MORE:

**Late Editorial Note from Skoob: "Hold on there a minute you fooking colonial idiot...you've got the Manchester stuff all wrong...stick to writing about the New England Patriots.....or Leeds United!"

***Writer replies: That's it...no more soccer foolishness...with all those teams how can anyone keep them straight!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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