Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today expressed his outrage at having to shell out £1227.91 for a big eff off 50" plasma screen TV from Comet.
Shuttlecock argued that it wouldn't make his beloved Manchester United play any better, and would only serve to further emphasise Wayne Rooney's big ears, and BBC Sports Personality Of The Year, Ryan Giggs's hairiness.
He also argued that high definition would make all the big scary animals on David Attenborough wildlife documentaries give him nightmares.
Anne Shuttlecock was unrepentant. She told us:
"Yes it's expensive, but we don't go out that much because he can never fucking behave himself. So we do things mainly from home."
Martin Shuttlecock responded by saying:
"Just imagine...a 50" plasma HD TV with fuck all on but Tommy Bastard Walsh, Alan Bastard Titchmarsh, and Jonathan Bastard Woss. I'm going to have to sign up with a Spoof website or something. I expect that Jamie Bastard Oliver and Gordon Bastard Ramsay will get more than their share of airtime. Anybody know where I can get 'Debbie Does Dallas' on Blu Ray?"
More as we get it.