Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Sex

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

image for Horny Newcastle (GB) pair cause neighbour to wear deaf-aid due to their extremely loud sex sessions!
Copulating Pigs can be loud, but this Newcastle pair caused their neighbour to go deaf in one ear!

A horny couple in Newcastle who breached their ASBO (anti-social behaviour order for our US friends!) by continuing to have extremely loud sex sessions have caused their neighbour deafness in one ear and now she has to wear a deaf-aid (WHAT d'ye say Laddy?)!

The raunchy geriatric pair (the man is 88 and his wife 82???) refused to stop making deafening, thumping noises all through the night whilst making non-stop, white hot love (maybe it was their joints cracking?) and their slightly younger neighbour, 45 and dry, explained what she had to suffer:

"She, dumb bitch, sounded like a pig being slit open every time she had an orgasm and he screeched like a donkey being castrated every time he managed to shoot his powdered milk, I ask you 80 year olds and at it every night, I'm lucky if I get a stab once a month and now I'm fucking deaf!"

The Newcastle police attempted a forced entry, but the sex-mad couple were so busy "at it" they didn't even notice the police enter, a policespokesman gave the following statement:

"My officers puked at the sight of the geriatrics at it, in fact it was the worse thing they had ever experienced especially as they entered the bedroom and saw Mrs C. on all fours screaming like a lacerated piggy!"

The pair were seperated by a bucket of cold water and the packets of "Giant Viagra Tablets" were removed, as for the deaf neighbour, she's bought a giant dildo to satisfy her lonely, silent nights, at last!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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