Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 15 December 2009

image for Bill Clinton and UK TV anchor Moira Stuart 'have duped the world about Tiger nativity'
Clinton seen here on the right in a rare photograph of his firstborn

London - (Reuterus): "Totally preposterous rubbish" is how one golfing expert put it today commenting on the latest Tiger Woods scandal story.

This claims that Afro-Carribean TV newsreader Moira Stuart and Bill Clinton have spoofed the world about Tiger Woods' true parentage.

The uncorroborated allegation by forensic analysts at the UK's National Poisons Unit DNA division has stunned the Tiger rumor mill circus.

Probing classified files under Freedom of Disinformation Act disclosure requests the NPU team is adamant about the 'breathtaking cover-up.'

"The science blows away that Earl and Kultida Woods parentage mythology," the Unit's Prof V Smart said today.

"What we have is wholesale deception by Clinton alma mater Skull And Bones Club grandees at Yale.

"Expect the whole squalid whitewash to be blown to smithereens. Soon, like, er maybe next week!"

Clinton apparently first met Stuart while studying at Oxford on a Rhodes scholarship.

The fledgeling BBC researcher had just been assigned to interview him for the Malcom Muggeridge Show.

Now previously unseen Zaprudder-like footage from BBC archives confirms the magnetism between the pair that lead a few years later to the fateful coupling.

"They were crazy about each other until the pregnancy," octogenarian former archive curator Cora Batty commented today.

"Some even think they went through a secret nuptials which has remained hidden to this day."

Tiger's birth and immediate 'adoption' was fixed hurriedly by Clinton's Skull And Bones sponsors. Stuart meanwhile was hastily fast-tracked to become the BBC's first black newsreader.

Details of Tiger's real nativity were last reviewed during Clinton's 1997 impeachment trial after First Daughter Chelsea inadvertantly shagged Tiger Woods in the back of the Presidential limousine, dubbed The Beast.

The Secret Service eventually took the view that given previous White Hoiuse incumbents - like Ronald Reagan and George Bush Senior - "it probably wasn't the first time the USA's highest public office was caught up in an alleged incest scandal."

Hillary Clinton is 69.

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