Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has entered the world record books for the very first time. He is now holder of the record for being 'the most generous SCOTSMAN of all time'. For most of this year, Mr Brown has been likened to a football pools winner, who once famously said: "I'm going to spend, spend, spend!"
Mr Brown told In Seine News; "I have never achieved much at school and thought I was going to be a failure. People used to laugh at me behind my back; they used to point the finger, snigger and whisper in corridors and treat me as some kind of a leper. It was not much fun! But when I became Chancellor of the Exchequer, I could get my own back on them. Then one-day my only friend Tony stepped down as Prime Minister and gave me the job. Tony thought he was doing the country a big favour by not having to spend money on doing elections "
"Now being Chancellor for a decade taught me some valuable skills in saving money and being Scottish I found I had a natural gift and all that 10 years of saving allowed me to give the money to where it is most needed! Some of the poorest people live in Scotland and so I kept the Royal Bank of Scotland afloat when many banks were in crisis. I also gave Sir Fred Goodwin a generous, golden (Gordon) handshake. Some of the electorate saw this as favouritism and were quite angry."
"I decided to sell all the gold we have because at the end the day it is only chunks of metal lying in bank vaults, gathering cobwebs. I watched carefully how Robert Mugabe printed gazillions of Zimbabwean dollars and I thought what ever he can do, I could do better!"
In closing, Mr Brown said; "So far I have given away £500 billion -- but I shall try to beat the record next year!"