The City of Edinburh has apologised to Laplanders for a secret atrocity that happened in the year 1887. The atrocity is believed to have involved the eating of a Reindeer.
The Reindeer landed on the roof of a well known Edinburgher of literary repute. He is believed to have been a Jekyl and Hide type character who had a liking for travelling with a Donkey and telling stories about Pirates and Kidnappers.
The Writer is recorded by his neighbour as shooting the Reindeer, who was pulling the Sledge of a Mr S Clause at the time, and cooking it for Christmas dinner. Mr S Clause had several other Reindeer, so wasn't hindered in his annual work of charitable present giving, but he never came back to Edinburgh. Never again.
Since that Christmas Eve, the children of Edinburgh haven't received a single Christmas present from Santa. No, they haven't. Parents in Edinburgh have had to buy the presents for their children themselves and just pretend that they're from Santa Claus because they're too embarrassed to say that one of their most revered ancestors "Ate Rudolph"
But times are hard in Edinburgh. The people can't afford to buy presents anymore. So the Scottish Parliament are hoping that if they offer an apology for the brutal sleighing of Santa's Reindeer to the Lapland people, then Santa might return to Edinburgh.
Katarina Fropond (That's me) says she thinks its time for Santa to return to Edinburgh. The particular writer who carried out this terrible crime is long dead and its illegal to shoot Reindeer in Scotland now, anyway. So come back Santa, Edinburgh needs some presents.
By Katarina Frogpond.