Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 11 December 2009

image for Robin Hood Fanatic Openly Confronts Residents of Nottingham
A near miss for one Nottingham resident.

Arrested yesterday for public drunkenness and creating a public nuisance, a California man dressed in green leggings, leather vest and feathered cap will face charges in Nottingham County Court tomorrow.

Timothy Flynn, who reportedly had his name legally changed from Pryzbielski, claims to be the bastard son, of a bastard son, of the very late Hollywood film star, Errol Flynn. A self proclaimed Robin Hood aficionado, Flynn the living, admits to getting drunk and becoming angry at the local residents of Nottingham for allowing the centuries old image of the town and surrounding Sherwood Forest to fall victim to modern progress.

Flynn, still inebriated from an extended stay at the Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem Pub, openly shared his disgust from behind bars. "What happened to the forest? Instead of trees and open land the castle is surrounded by subdivisions, street signs, brick fences and gated entrances. Sherwood Forest is, like, a small patch of open field! Maid Marion would be pissed".

Thinking better of any personal comments for the press, Desk Sergeant Wesley Fredericks offered, "We will wait for Mr. Flynn to sober up before deciding whether to issue a psychiatric evaluation. In either case, he will appear in Her Majesty's Courts Service on Canal Street on schedule tomorrow." Once the local television cameras were turned off, Sergeant Fredericks was heard to comment about Flynn further, saying only, "Fruitcake".

Without a change of clothes at the ready, the role of Robin Hood will be played by Timothy Flynn. Performances begin tomorrow in Nottingham County Court at 10:00 AM. Tickets are complimentary. Public seating is limited.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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