Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: London, Santa

Friday, 11 December 2009

image for North End London Woman Mistaken for Mrs. Claus
Clearly not Eugene Clausington, Edna's husband.

Mrs. Edna Clausington of 23 Tonbridge Street, Barnsbury, was reportedly the source of a large public gathering and traffic flow interruption this past Saturday near Housmans Bookshop, as she was mistaken for the actual Mrs. Claus.

"Everything else was at the dry cleaner", explains Mrs. Clausington as she displays her circa 1965 full length red coat with white fox fur collar. "I never wear this thing in public anymore, and for exactly this reason."

The elderly white-haired woman had reportedly exited the book store with matching red, fur lined hat, petite reading glasses and recycled white cloth shopping sack tied with Sisal rope. She was immediately mobbed by young children dragging their parents along for the introduction. Some were carrying letters to Santa, others a bit more bold wanted to know if Mrs. Clausington could "put in a good word" for them when she next spoke to her husband. One teenage brother of a small girl was heard yelling, "Tell the fat man I want a Playstation".

"If they all meant Eugene, my far-less than two meter, balding, chunky but cute accountant husband of 52 years, I'd be happy to", said Mrs. Clausington. "But, I really didn't want to crush the hopes and dreams of those darling children. That's for the government to do when they become tax payers".

Playing her part as if a paid professional, she accepted the letters and wished them all a "Merry Christmas". At that time, Office Neal Chessman appeared to disperse the crowd and escort Mrs. Clausington safely back home. Near her front door Chessman nervously asked, "I really don't believe in this sort of thing, but if you happen to be the real thing, I mean your name isn't merely a coincidence, could you see your way clear to telling Santa that I'd really like a new collapsible, metal night stick?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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