Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 10 December 2009

image for Scotland declares war on England for "nicking" their sacred "WEE DRAM"!
Admiral Nelson was nearly called back for duty to head the English Armada against the raging Scots!

Sassenachs, better known as the "Old Enemy" England, have really pissed off the pissed Scots this time.

The bone-headed English have produced "English Scotch Whisky"!

Now this sacred brew is more holy than Braveheart, Haggis, Robbie Burns, The Scottish Football team, kilts and tossing the Caber.

"How dare they," screamed the Scottish leader of parliament, "our holy brew, this is sacrilege and means WAR!!!"

Immediately all border points were closed and diplomatic ties were broken.

Scottish forces clad in kilts, armed with pitchforks, clubs, empty bottles of the "Holy Brew" and playing the bagpipes gathered on the border led by Sir JOHNNIE WALKER (black please!).

Sassenachs caught in "Bonny Scotland" were hanged, drawn and quartered and the ghost of Mary Queen of Scots hovered over Macbeths castle!

Gordon Brown, himself a proud Scot, escaped from the House of Commons just in time to lead his Brave Scots into war against the "Arch enemy" leaving Alistair Darling to run England. (I feel sorry for them already)

Anyway diplomatic tosser, Alistair, begged the Scots to return to their mud-huts and promised them England would never again attempt to produce their "Holy Water"

Gordon took off his kilt and has now been reinstated (treacherous bastard) and the English Whisky producers have been beheaded at the Tower of London.

The slight storm in the "Whisky Glass" was last seen floating towards the Isle of Skye!!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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