Written by Mark Merton
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Topics: Jesus, church

Thursday, 10 December 2009

image for Church declared Jesus as missing person
Have you seen Jesus?

The Church of England has announced that, according to a latest research, an average person in the UK doesn't know much about the adult life of Jesus. Michael Robson, 29 a milkman from Bognor Regis admitted that he has no idea what Jesus has done or said between the stable scene of the nativity play and his after-life. Mr Robson said: "I think Jesus was a miracle baby and in a few days he grew up and got killed by the Romans. All the fuss is about his birth and his death. But they don't let us know what exactly he was doing in between."

Miss Pauline Garter, 47 of Colchester said that it would be a fascinating thing to find out about Jesus as a leader rather than a lovely baby or a half naked corpse. "It's all boiling down to efforts by the Church to keep us ignorant about the teaching of Jesus. They want us to get sentimental about him. For whatever reason, they don't want us to know much about his leadership. I am sorry that Jesus is being treated as a Disneyland prop."

The findings of the research were so shocking that the Church of England has applied to the Metropolitan Police declaring Jesus the leader as a missing person. A spokesman for the C of E said that there was no conspiracy at all in eclipsing Jesus the leader by Jesus the baby and Jesus the dead man. He also added that the research has been an eye-opener for them as well:

"We are looking forward to find Jesus the leader soon. He may have been kidnapped by a sinister organisation."

The Police said that although the application for a missing person was received and would be acted upon but they wouldn't know where to start their investigation. PC Frank Turpin of the missing persons bureau said: "It may well be a kidnap by member or members of his own family. We keep an open mind on this and we would certainly keep an eye on the Church itself."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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